Creative Fires Studio

The Self Portrait Experience

 

  

 

 

Vincent Van Gogh felt that he could more clearly express what he felt in his self portrait, than he could in a letter. 

When I’m stuck in a rut or struggling with conflicting emotions - like Vincent, I create a self portrait as a way of checking in with what I really feel - because I can see it on my face. 

In the self portrait we are author, subject and spectator.

 
The dynamics of seeing from these three perspectives invites a deeper self awareness as we experience and sift through layers of identity, memory and emotion.

Our history is in our body, in our eyes.  Self portraiture can give us distance from critical judgements and the painful self image we may see in the mirror. The distance we have as subject and spectator invites clarity about what is below the surface and how it is expressed on our faces. The self portrait opens us to dialogue and curiosity and a new perspective on who we are.

I find myself sometimes leaning in and wondering - have we met? 

 

$59 (less than what some of these artists can charge for only ONE of their classes!), downloadable PDF's, videos galore, 5 months to work at your own pace... GO! Sign Up!!  Classes begin April 1st.

 Join me and the 20 artists below by just click the button above -- this will direct you to dirty footprints studio, where your transaction will be smooth and secure!

 Here are the 20 other artists - check out what they are teaching!

Aimee Myers Dolich of Artsyville (Three Little Words)

Alma Stoller of Alma Stoller (Childs Play Workshop)

Connie Hozvicka of Dirty Footprints™ Studio (Abstract Adventure)

Debra Cooper of A Little Imagination & A Pile Of Junk (Playing with Patterns)

Erin Kenepp of Erin Kenepp Mixed Media Art (Becoming Brave)

Goddess Leonie of Goddess Guidebook (Connecting With The Goddess Inside You...)

Gretchen Miller of Gretchen Miller (Ready for Revo'lution) 

Heather Plett of Sophia Leadership (Body Art Journaling)

Ingrid Murray of My Peacetree (Beautiful You, Radiant You)

Jane Davenport of Jane Davenport (Drawing Happy)

Jeniffer Hutchins of Joyful Arts Studio (Emotional Evolution)

Kelley Brown of Art Journaling As A Creative Process (Adding Dimension)

Lisa Dieken of Wild Creative Heart (The Fragrant Art Journal)

Lisa Wilson of Life Unity (YOGA+ART:Journaling Into Awareness)

 Natasha Reilly of Creative Nachos (Improvisation Station)

Rachel Whetzel of A Year In The Life Of An Art Journal (Silent Messages: How Saying Nothing Can Say It All....)

Silky Hart of Expressive Hart (Paint Writing)

Tamara Laporte of Willowing (Collage, Paint, and Soul)

Tammy Garcia of Daisy Yellow (Creative Grungification)

Violette Clark of Violette’s Creative Juice (Me and My Shadow)

 

21 Secrets...

 

I was going to list 21 Secrets...we all have them...and I most certainly have 21...but it started to get a little... repetitive.  
Good to see a pattern I guess. But would make a boring post!

 

So here's my top 5 blog proof secrets. 

(in fine print)

It was me, I stole the box of chocolates off of Mrs. Clark's desk...
I've eaten a worm...once was enough
I'm scared of getting old
I stepped on the back of my strapless graduation dress...and was called "tits" for the rest of the year
I'd like to read the classics, but I'm too lazy

 

One of my favorite sites is PostSecret.

An ongoing community art project, people use art to anonymously
express and reveal secrets that burden them.
I love the creative way
truths are expressed and released.

All of our complex humanity is present, nothing is hidden away.

 

I have been hidden away over the past few days,
creating a workshop for the 21 Secrets art journal workshop
sponsored by Dirty Footprints Studio! 

 

More details including all 21 workshop descriptions will be available soon!
Registration will begin March 14, 2011 and the workshops will be available April 1, 2011 - August 1, 2011...the cost? Just $59 for all 21 Secrets art journaling classes which include videos and pdf files.  Sign up for the Dirty Footprints Studio Newsletter and Facebook page to keep updated on all 21 Secrets news! 

 

 

 

I can't find my lipstick...

 

I can't find my lipstick...

 

I've always had conflicted feelings about how I look.
How much I weigh, how my hair is, etc..
I never wanted anyone to know I was fussed about it, but secretly I was.

And like many of us, I learned to fake it on the outside, when I felt like crap on the inside. Something I got so good at, I lost touch. 

 

Courtesy of 1000 Artworks to see before you die...read more here.

Self portraits grab me. Painting them teaches me.

I'm captivated by the look in those eyes.
Something quite intense happens in the eyes of a self portrait.

A longing for connection, to be seen.

The artist is looking so intensely at us, outward it seems.

An illusion, because what the artist is really looking at
is a reflection, intensely inward.

This play with the inside and outside self captivates as
we recognize the game.

 

There is also an element of intimacy as we look into the eyes.
Are we seeing the artist's soul?

All the while, we are aware that self portraiture is also performance.
What is the artist hiding or exaggerating? 

 

I found myself reaching for the lipstick before taking photos today.  
Something, I rarely do. Unless I am going out. 

I see my face aging and know I can't stop time's dutiful march.
I don't really want to. I like the grey, I like the wrinkles. 

Yet I do feel a little loss when I think of the years that I could not look myself
lovingly in the eye when I was younger.

 I am learning to now though, through the art of self portraiture. 

 

 

Love for poetry

Valentines Day...

A day where many people cherish passionate and romantic connections...
while others feel even more isolated.

Thinking of this, I wondered what passionate or romantic connections do I have outside my relationships - inside myself?

 

Poetry

 

Poetry is the place I go for rest, restoration, reflection. To look for answers. To find I am not alone. To find passion and longing. To find depth and humanity. To find humility and humor. To SEE myself.

In school, poetry was stupid. Riddles. Metaphor didn't seep in too deep back then. Today I realize what was really going on.

 I was scared of  feeling stupid, of looking stupid, of not getting it.

So I dismissed it.

A defense mechanism I am much more aware of today!

A few years ago, a wonderful teacher re-introduced me to poetry. The focus of the class was to wallow in the images poetry brought forth,
rather than make a grade with analysis or critique.

No pressure to UNDERSTAND the poem - my imagination was set free!
Intellect took a coffee break. Bliss! 

 

   

 

I invite you to step into poetry, to play with it. Take a poem that confounds you, or that you love and using WORDLE create a word cloud like the one I created

based on several of Rumi's love poems. 

 

Passion catches you. You are drawn to it, but you are also caught by it.

It can free you, and it can shackle you.

For me, the poet Rumi captures this tension beautifully - and so does this word cloud! And there is tension - the tension between following what you love and obligations in the outside world.

Right now my daughter is starving on the sofa, 
near death I believe (she's a teen) - as I follow my need to create this blog! I need to be attentive to my creative passion, she needs to get off the sofa and make something herself. Tension. : )

 

What do you love? What inner passions call to you?

What tensions arise when you follow them?

 

Here's another way you can play with what you love!

Sharing ART JOURNAL LOVE!

 

Connie at Dirty Footprints Studio is always up to something!

Celebrating with her, are some amazing artists who've donated all kinds of prizes - from art work, to journals to workshops!

To celebrate with her

I've donated a pack of ephemera LOVE that you can win!

Ahuh...the Swiss Sweet Heart Pack! Full of vintage originals and chocolate!

Click on the ART Journal Love Button

to find out how to play along!

Decaffeinated...

 
Really dipped into my journal today. Reveal, conceal, uncover, discover.

Sometimes painful, always a lesson in awe. Creating restores me.

Things have been a bit hectic - this is my wish.

Presence. 

Where I feel at ease, quiet, decaffeinated. 

Casting that wish artfully, soothes me.

The colors inspire me. Presence arrives.

I can see more clearly.

And I don't

want to "chuck a wobbly" quite so bad

any more ( for today).

 

Deep thoughts...

 

Dookie and I were hitting the books this afternoon. 

You can see what happens to Dookie when he reads too much.

Duke, as he is more formally known (only in his dreams)

is what the Swiss here would call a Lebenskünstler

which means in English

a master of the art of living

(at the moment he is the master of sun spot napping)

 

Imagine 

making art with your life

as your medium

 

Danny Gregory writes in his book Creative Licence (the one Dookie is napping with)

"We are in the middle of an enormous renaissance of creativity. Look around you. People are taking digital pictures. They're recording they're own songs. They're shooting, editing, scoring movies. They're scanning artwork. They're writing essays. They're sharing stories and recipes and patterns and ideas. They're supporting each other, inspiring each other, feeding and cheering and promoting each other."

 

I felt a jolt of excitement when I read this. Creativity is essential to me. Access and expression of my creativity keeps me healthy and happy.

The sun was shining and all this got to me

and a wave of hope for humanity took me for a ride. 

Sure, there's the dark side to the internet.

But the sense of community, inspiration, sharing of experience and support amongst artists online has inspired me, taught me, given me access to friendships, ideas, techniques, skills and materials  I would not have had only a few years ago.

And because of it...there are ripples in my life away from the computer.

 

I am making art with a community of artists.

I bring these experiences into my daily life

 As a stronger sense of my own resources and strengths

With slightly more patience and flexibility (no point in exagerating)

as I LOVE what I do.

I share what I learn with those who come to paint with me in my studio. 

I share my studio with my daughter.

 

I feel closer to making art with my life.

 

How has the internet influenced your creativity? 

 

When did I start to look like my dog...he's 10 now.

I know when he was a puppy, there was no resemblence...

Guess what? I got a secret...

 

actually...I got 21 Secrets!

Connie over at Dirty Footprints Studio is leading the way.

So you see...I took this amazing online painting workshop one day

...and before I knew it...

my world cracked OPEN!

 I met Connie - an inspirational teacher and her tribe of FEARLESS artists

and got rolling. 

And now we are playing in the sand box together!

Teaching the 21 Secrets online workshop!

 Turn on the color -  that's what I'm talking about.

(You know to click on this icon, right? It'll take you to Connie's fabulous place)

 

21 Secrets is a collaboration between 21 amazing artists

bringing you 21 techniques, creative styles, approaches to art journalling

online instruction with video, pdf files and online discussions 

go at your own pace, share and discuss your work with a creative community

as it suits your schedule

Art journalling is collage, doodling, painting (often with your fingers!)

journalling and playing around

Way more fun than watching TV! : )

 

21 Secrets goes on sale on March 14 and virtual door opens on April 1st (that's no joke!)

 

Whether you are a beginner or advanced,

there will be plenty of creativity, challenge and support for you!

 

 

  I am really excited to share this with you. Check back for updates.

Pick a Fight...

 

 

"Creativity is an act of defiance." - Twyla Tharp

 

Sometimes the most creative thing you can do

is pick a fight with yourself.  

I woke up this morning, planning to behave and get stuff done. Damn. I felt like crap. Dis-ease, like I was letting someone down all the time. Disappointing someone. 

Looking at those sad sacks under my eyes in the mirror, I  realized, it was me that I let down. Two weeks...days of either bein a good dobee and crossing stuff off my list or other people's lists. (um...and napping and watching TV).

Then, I got pissed off! Really PISSED.

 

and then I picked up a book called The Creative Habit by Twyla Tharp 

 and flipped it open at random...

 

and read this sentence:

For one day, be completely contrary, to the point of orneriness and belligerence with anything and everything you do.

Turn everything upside down.

 
Defiance could jolt you out of a rut.

Tension, creative tension, is where the best images come from. 

My plan was to do my work first, play later.

 

But instead

I painted those sad sacks under my eyes...until they went away. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Monday mornings we paint

For the past 8 months, three amazing women have been painting beside me, once a week. Sometimes we paint tentatively, sometimes we dance and paint with abandon.

 

What I love is that anything can happen and often does.

What I love is that we share a creative space that seems to grow each time we meet.

What I love is that we each have a unique powerful creative voice.

What I love is that we laugh.

What I love are the colors we each choose.

What I love is what they teach me each time we meet.

What I love is that we are all beginners.

What I love is that we make mistakes.

What I love is that we keep showing up Monday morning anyway. 

 

This weekend they joined a few more friends, expats like myself, to launch the studio and collage a path into 2011! There is nothing I love more than sitting around a table makin stuff with friends. Thank you so much for coming out to play on such a beautiful Saturday afternoon. Much gratitude to all of you who share the studio space with me!

 

 

 

 

Best things...are moments.

 
 

BEST THINGS I learned this year...PROcess, I say. ( PRAcess for others, you know who you are...). No matter how you say it, I find myself pulled forward into 2011, in a bit of a hurry. Had to slam on the brakes and take the time to reflect and PROcess the ups and downs of 2010. I can let those little brain squirrels fly around in circles gathering all those loose nuts, but the BEST THING I realized about my self this year is I GET NOTHING done, if I don't draw, paint, play, collage, journal or picnik it first. It's how I roll. Huh. Nice to have finally figured that one out!

 

Next BEST THING I learned, is that DUH, I need to refuel my imagination. That means wallowing GUILT FREE in art magazines, art books, long walks with the dogs, finding like minds, taking many art classes, iTunes addiction, and laughing with friends.  The thing that goes with that is DUMPING, so journal writing every day allows me to dump the negative crappola I carry about and make space for all that new inspiring stuff!

Oh yeah, this BEST THING is my favourite! Cause it means facing fears and TRAVEL!! And what that meant was diving into crazy stuff, and just doing it. Rent a car and go! Buy a train ticket and go! Following all those fascinations, the things that itch and scratch til you open the door - meant I met the most AMAZING people! Then I got another ahuh...Creative people NEED creative people! 

One more BEST THING thing. I learned...to ask for help. 

 

 So, you know what...um the BEST THING BOILED DOWN TO A MOMENT for me. OK, there's many to choose from, especially those spent with family and friends. Yet, the moment of 2010 that sums up all I learned came when I took a crazy step towards clowning in Tuscany. After a week of coaching by a brilliant instructor and practice amongst inspiring people - I took to the stage. Eric de Bont, our instructor, summed it up for me with "Belissimo Stupido, you are sooo STUPID it is BEAUTIFUL". I swear, my heart grew three sizes that day! Because my performance came from vulnerability, from following my fascination...I felt seen for the first time in my life...um, OK it was while someone was saying I looked stupid in Italian, but hey, for a clown, there's no better compliment! 

 Ever curious, refueled, reflected and poised to open the door
(um, with focus and presence of course) to the new.

 I look forward to 2011, to opening the door wide to all those who want to create and play in CREATIVE FIRES with me! 

Wishing you health, rest, renewal, adventure, relationship and creativity for 2011!